Once Upon a Time there was a Grimm review.

I know I'm getting a late start on this fall's fantasy/science fiction TV, but better late than never right?

Fall 2011 has brought us two fantasy based shows who took their inspiration from our childhood stories.

The first is called Grimm, on NBC.  Guess where its main inspiration comes from.

Grimm is about a police detective, Nick Burckhardt (David Giuntoli), who discovers he is a "Grimm", a descendant of a family line capable of seeing and interacting with the supernatural.  From what I gathered from the pilot, this basically means they are slayers (like Joss Whedon's Buffy) who just happen to go after more than just vampires.  He's got a crazy aunt type who is being hounded by the supernatural (presumably because she killed some poor werewolf's baby), who tells him all about what he is right before being viciously attacked .  She leaves him a trailer/mobile home type thing full of weapons and knowledge that he will need to be what he's going to be.

Overall, I found the story foolish and the acting miserable.  Granted, the dialog wasn't written very well, but it's delivered with extra-special awkwardness, as if the actors know that what they're doing looks dumb.  It made the show particularly painful to watch, and I have to admit I didn't make it all the way through the pilot before deciding I had better things to do with my time.  Considering I didn't walk out on Underworld 3, that's saying something.

On a final note, I know hollywood has this obsession with making everything pretty, but Mr. Giuntoli's detective looks way too young to be one, as if the police department had run out and adopted a "we'll take what you got" attitude towards the academy. In my line of work I've met quite a few detectives, and none of them look anything like him, mostly because it takes years of hard, grizzly work to become one.  Since Mr. Giuntoli is actually in his early 30's, technically he should be able to pull this off, so I'm gonna land this one squarely on the makeup department.  He should look like he's seen a lot of crap, not like he's just graduated high school.

Here's a clip, courtesy Hulu.com, you be the judge:

The other fantasy based show out there now is ABC's Once Upon A Time staring Ginnifer Goodwin (Snow White/Mary Margaret Blanchard), Jennifer Morrison (Emma Swan), Lana Parilla (as "the Evil Queen"/Regina Mills), and one of my all time favorites Robert Carlyle (Rumpelstilskin/Mr. Gold).

Off the bat I liked this one a lot better.  I felt, despite the inherent cheesiness of telling a story about Snow White in the modern age, that it was a much higher level production and far more entertaining than Grimm.  On this one I made it all the way through the pilot, and found myself very much wanting to see more.

I was amused to begin with, then intrigued, then totally wrapped up in the story.  It starts with what is effectively the end of the classic Snow White fairy tale.  Snow White and Prince Charming are about to have their wedding when in storms the Evil Queen to ruin the day, but wait, she's not actually there to ruin the day but to warn the protagonists that though they may have defeated her this time, their victory will come at a terrible price.  Snow White decides she doesn't want to wait and see what this "terrible price" is going to be, so she, against the wishes of her prince, goes into the dungeon where they happen to be keeping Rumpelstilskin (presumably after he tried to steal the last princess' baby- which I am thinking might be the current Prince Charming, but we'll see if they go into that).

Ole' Rumpel tries to make the same deal with Snowy as he did with that lying miller's daughter, but softens it a bit to say that he'll trade the Evil Queen's plans for just the birth name of Snowy's baby.  The Prince warns her against accepting this (for names have power, you see, and if you've read Rumpelstilskin you know that giving a very powerful imp your baby's true name is pretty much stupidity incarnate).  However, Snowy is so scared of the Evil Queen (who really should be called Meleficent.  I realize Maleficent is from Sleeping Beauty, but it really fits better than this generic name, damnit.  In researching this I found out that they are going to have a Maleficent separate from the Evil Queen in the series, so I guess that's why the did it, but still...) that she accepts the deal.  Rumpel tells her that the Queen is going to banish the entire realm to a place where there are no happy endings, a place where every day is winning for evil, and where they will all be doomed to live a life of eternal suffering.  Snow White then promptly reneges on the deal and storms out of the dungeon.

Yeah, that's class.  Are these the values you'll be teaching your kid there?  Your word is worthless. Way to go.

So to make a long story short, the curse of the Evil Queen goes through, and they're all banished to an immortal existence in low paying jobs in a town run by the Evil Queen and Rumpelstilskin, right here on Earth.  HA!

Actually, what they do with that I was pretty happy with.  You see, thanks to Geppetto (yeah, THAT Geppetto), there was one person who wound up immune from the Queen's spell, but I'll let you find that out for yourself.

Below is a scene between Snowy and Prince Charming (my thanks again to Hulu.com).  I couldn't find one with Rumpelstilskin, which I would have rathered, so we'll all have to settle for this (or you can pop over to ABC.com and watch whole episodes).

Just a few last notes here.

One- While doing research for this I found out that Angelina Jolie is going to be playing Maleficent in an upcoming production.  All I can say to that is, NOOOOOO!  As one of the commentators on the webpage put it, Angelina couldn't pull off Maleficent in a million years.

Two- Terra Nova, I refuse to watch this stupidity.  The Earth is dying, but we have wormhole technology so let's go to the time when dinosaurs ruled the Earth and start over?  WTF!  The only way this series would be good is if the first human out of the wormhole stepped on a proto-mammal and they all vanished in a genocidal time-paradox.  If you have wormholes, why don't you go to one of the tens of planets that are Earth-like we've already discovered (see NASA.gov for details) instead of risking time paradoxes that could wipe out all life as we know it.  STUPID STUPID STUPID.  The only reason this idiocy is the plot for such a show is so they can draw in the kiddies with the candy-red lure of dinosaurs.  So,  needless to say, I will not be reviewing this crap (other than what you see here).

Okay, that's all for today.

Be well All!