Relatively Spoiler-Free Review of Underwater

Watched Underwater tonight.

It was not a good movie.

I mean, it was technically pretty decent, special effects were good and all, but it failed on two critical points:

I.    I didn't give a crap about the characters-

    Why not? You might ask? Well, because the movie takes the "jump right in" thing a bit too far. The action starts right away. That would be fine, but it never really lets up. There's no chance to get to know the characters or get attached to them in any way. Watching them get picked off by the baddies has the emotional impact of a video-game shooter. It just doesn't register. In fact, the only attachment I had at all to them was to go "oh, I recognize that actor... oh never mind."

    The film really needed to spend some time establishing the characters, and why the audience should care instead of sacrificing all that time to special effects and action.

II.    The baddies were completely unbelievable.

    When you finally do get to see the things attacking the characters... It's very disappointing. I mean, why the heck do they have eyes if they live at the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean? There's no light there at all. Why are they bifocal? Why do they resemble humanoids? Did the creators of this mess ever see a fish before?

    Yeah, it's that bad.

So, whereas I did get through the whole movie, it was more because I was getting some entertainment out of how bad it was, and that's about it.

Do not recommend unless you're into that sort of thing (bad movies that aren't quite bad enough to be good).

Here's the trailer!